Arrange marriage vs Choices of Today’s Women!
Prologue-: A true story defining Arrange marriage vs Choices of Today’s Women rather today’s independent women.
The month was either January or February 2018. I received a call from somebody known, who is much senior to me in age but quite curious and progressive in his thought process. He called me and after normal initial communication. He said, “What’s today’s girl or women want in terms of marriage”.
What is the choice of today’s Independent women? I want to know your perspective about it.
I asked him “Why suddenly he is asking such a question?” Then he said, his maternal uncle’s daughter, who is doing really well in her career, has been rejecting all the guys, her parents have been choosing for her.
I replied to him, she might like someone, or she is in a relationship. He said he and his maternal uncle had a communication about it with her. She has nobody in her life.
Her younger brother also got married this year, thus her parents are too concerned.
As you can relate with her and has been going through similar kind of scenario in your life. I want to understand this from you.
I gave a thought to it for a second before replying to him.
I think the only thing, which stops today’s girl or a woman to choose a guy for her, she doesn’t relate with the guys with whom they met or interacted yet.
It is just about the right person, nothing else.
Might the previous generation, also faced the same scenario but they might be not as independent and strong as today’s female. Thus, they were not able to go by their choices or decisions.
They were adhering to family and society.
He said ‘Alright, but what makes you say no to the guys, with whom you met?’
I replied- Not just one but many reasons!
- Showing off Money -: Either by parents or the guy, with the thought that an independent working girl has some money crunch back home, thus she needs to work hard to earn money, in a new city.
They should know, it’s not money its independence and a career.
- Food Concerns -: Directing the communication to food directly or indirectly, if you are asking a question to the women, you are seeking marriage with. For us, marriage is not equal to cooking, for guys it’s still but all the cooking they expect from the female partner. Amazingly, they look for a working, earning girl with the qualities of a good chef. Basically, as the time passed, and girls got smarter the guys got smartest, they look for one short solution, when it comes to marriage. (Especially in the arranged marriage system).
Thus, the ideal scenario fulfilling a guy’s expectation is. “She will come and stay with my family, she will take care of me and my family. She will go out and earn for herself and my family. She will cook or take care of the kitchen completely and feed us”.
Sorry, we are not looking for adopting a guy and his family, we are looking for a companion and the family, who can treat us equally, fairly and of course lovingly as we deserve to be.
- Focusing just on Salaries/Packages/Earnings -: I agree, marriage has been a deal to crack since generations and a diplomatic courtship for kings. But, let the things change. Let people live their personal lives at least for the sake of true care, concern, and there is a lot of diplomacy in the outside world, people being judged and respected equivalent to their heavy pockets.
Kindly leave the marriages to be sensible.
Old Model of Arrange Marriage.-:
It’s just not possible to decide in one telephonic communication and one meeting about a lifelong courtship. An Organization takes more rounds to hire a candidate. If you are letting people to meet and communicate more than once, dear family, friends or relatives, kindly do not build dreams of marriage. Do not take away the right to say NO. Otherwise, it will lead to a complete no to arrange marriage model itself.
Thus, we are basically looking for a mature, sensible and caring friend. Who should know, that he is having the edge of patriarchy! Thus, should not try to take the extra edge in the lifelong courtship called marriage and will put equal efforts to make the marriage work as we do.